What It Feels Like to Panic

My freshman year in high school was by far the hardest year of my high school career.

What made it difficult wasn’t the people or even my studies, it had to do with my extracurricular activities. More specifically, soccer.

I have been on a soccer team pretty much since I was 11 and my freshman year of high school was no different. I was beginning to get really good and some scouts had noticed me on higher travel levels.

Basically, I felt like I deserved to be on a better team.

With that being said, I wouldn’t get moved up that year.

There was a big camp that came into town and at that camp were several high profile scouts and coaches from professional teams abroad. As you can imagine, I was pretty nervous as a young kid. I started pretty well but eventually it started raining and then it got windy and then a full on thunder storm burst out.

By then, I’m under a canopy with other players and they are all getting picked up by there parents. Well, turns out, I didn’t even have my phone with me and I had to use someone else’s to call my mom.

At this point I’m having a full panic attack. No idea what was happening. It was a disaster.

But since then, I had trouble with the obsession over fearing that a panic attack could and would happen to me at any moment.

It was pretty scary.

But eventually, as I got older, the fear slowly faded away. And now I don’t have them.

It’s crazy how your body can react when you are in a scenario where you feel helpless. Guess I’m a freezer.